Friday, September 10, 2010


When you turn on the news you always get the baseball, football, and basketball results along with a lot more of all the unwanted minutiae. Tennis at, say, the U S Open is an afterthought and still it has turned into the over-priced and totally different thing that it, and the other sports, were years back. Years back---when one sat in the bleachers for a few dollars (snuck a look at the Yankees from an elevated Subway station for free) or when Tennis was on WNET in NY with Bud Palmer promoting it and the prize money was truly an awesome few thousand dollars. Palmer and Tennis, along with the other sports have succeeded beyond their, I suppose, wildest dreams. Of course you can forget about the U S Open on WNET now and you can also forget about seeing it for an affordable price. But, there are moments and times when the U S Open is Open---to an admiring public. Just before the actual games start and the qualifying matches on side courts are open to all. They can be as good as anything on the main arenas that come later.

On the bright side it has to be said that given all our new technologies there are so many ways of viewing this event that it truly is open to all. At least electronically and you are needing the patience to sit through interminable commercials or interminable blabber from the very well paid commentators (the McEnroe brothers among others—well, John anyway). On a positive note there is always the feed from the U S Open’s website which does require a fairly fast computer---but you do gain bliss from blather.

Being There.

That is what would be the thing. Think about a few things. You can buy all kinds of tickets and none are inexpensive. It is a simple matter of physics that the further you are away from an object in motion the slower it seems to move------most rationally priced seats are in that location. To see the match properly you need a mortgage on your home. OK stick to TV. Or you can buy a ground pass ( if that is the term) and actually have a better view on the huge monitor of Ashe Stadium than the people in the overpriced stratospheric seats.

The Participants:

You hear a lot about the stars and they surely have worked their athletic asses off to get where they are and are deservedly featured and well rewarded. They also have great expenses in being there---trainers, coaches, medics (I suppose), family entourage, and more. We are speaking of hundreds of thousands of dollars not even including that same number to achieve this place---and the work

There are also the newcomers. The unseeded players. They pay for their living arrangements, travel, their court time, their entrance fees, and ever so much more. You would also enjoy watching them in the qualifying rounds---for FREE. I recall some years back seeing Monfils that way. They have big investments in their futures.

Should they rise to a star level they will, as Gilbert and Sullivan so aptly wrote in Trial By Jury---“...receive the rewards of your pluck....”. Should they not—well, they played what they loved and, perhaps, will go on to being coaches and trainers at various clubs.

The Others:

That would include people like Linesmen, Judges, Chair Umpires, etc; all of who get paid a stipend. They love the game and come from professions that affords them the opportunity to take on these tasks for the joy of doing it and not being paid even enough to cover their expenses(as a rule). You do need some examples---check an article in the NY Times for that while you think of $150 stipends for persons who have flown in from California for the event. Just an example. Then think of The McEnroe Brothers and others and their “stipends”. Like many an organization there are those who sacrifice because they love the “cause” and those who love it and are more than happy to make a handsome profit from it.

The Vendors:

Not much time or “ink”(which is not really used now) will be wasted here---food, clothing, auto promotions, and all such things need no comments about their pricing here. I never did see a T Shirt worth $70. We will forget the cost of Hamburgers for the time being—I can only hope it was not a Sacred Cow since that might be worth the price. Honestly---they are there for only one thing. Nuff said.

The Audience:

The further back, it seems, the less you are a real tennis fan but a person who wants to feel like he/she is in on some sort of action or event and pay handsomely for it. Refer back to the comment about physics and distance (and later of monitor viewing on the site’s own big screen). The people who really see the match are the box holders and you might want to check your stock holdings to see if your corporations have some. Ask them for a seat---you do own shares. Breath holding is a no-no---a dangerous one.

The U S Open prides itself on the amount of celebrities that attend. Why not? Some are Athletes, Performers, and others who can well afford the price of front row seats (or are comped)that will appear on TV. You also have to ask how many are invited by the Open to fill that important celebrity void.

The Bottom Line:

It is a great event that has grown from humble beginnings and morphed into a Super Spectacular as so many other sports have. That has to leave us wondering what happened to the sports and “team spirit” as differentiated from corporate greed. Wimbledon does try to retain its traditions but that can only last so long---perhaps. While I am not privy to their inner workings I am certain it is not far removed from the U S Open save for the “tradition” aspects.

As to the U S Open. I keep hearing about the wonders of The Williams Sisters and the color issue. Seems that the stadium is named after Arthur Ashe (deservedly) and what about Althea Gibson. Her name does not seem prominently mentioned---though she is—finally---on that wall at the site.

The Real Bottom Line:

It probably is not possible to go back to that simpler time of pure competition for the joy of the game. Like so many other things it seems to have turned into a “nationalistic” event since the nationalities of the participants is always prominently displayed. Patrick McEnroe, to his credit if he is serious about this, is intent on promulgating and encouraging more U.S. players.

If, on the other hand, Tennis were to not try to keep its elitism it would have the popularity and interest of Baseball, Football, and all those other sports (it already charges their admission prices—and more). It, other than Golf, is the only non-team sport (I know the bowlers will object---and also the boxers and wrestlers(?) that attracts interest and serious participants.

The real bottom line is that you cannot beat the U S Open for great promotion, keeping it Elite, and promoting a great show---and that is what it is a “show”. That includes the mandatory ball autographing for the crowd, the acting like early gladiators in Roman arenas, and the overblown commentaries for every breath a player takes.

Would that they would go back to a more modest and low key form. Lettin the players come on the court, play the game and spend time with the media focusing on the winners of the finals. It is, I agree, problematical that once you create the monster you ca’tn stop him. Before the huge stadiums and rowdy crowds in high seats (who really cannot see the intensity---see the above) there were smaller venues and a much appreciated game. That includes a less watched Television channel. We cannot go that far back but, certainly, we can offer a bit more restraint in the promotion, the commentary, and, above all, fair pricing and pay for the non-competing participants in the event.


Wooden Racquets, long white trousers, grass courts, clay courts, hard courts, metal racquets, short skirts, short pants, colorful clothing (which had a purpose),space age material racquets, Hype----there is a brief evolution of the game in the 20th and 21st Century. Still ==you have to love it and, hopefully, people will play it and enjoy the thrill of the game and its individuality in opposition to team sports which are also very beneficial and instill a different spirit in person. I will now not do a riff on some comedic characters and people involved in team sports---it all has its place.

    Should you be wondering about the image at the top----A player and coach now in his 90s who owns some wonderful clay courts in Rockland County where I have had the pleasure of playing and having my ego shattered by the man.  You have to love him.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

THURSDAY---Another Edition of.......

A flip o f the fedora to Jimmy Cannon


1)      The days are really dwindling down as September Song says.  Darkness engulfs us earlier each day as always and brightness, hopefully, colors our persona around the clock.

2)      The U S Open has given me pause for much thought about talent, values, and much more which I will relegate to a longer piece for the next day or so.

3)      Have you ever wondered why surly clerks in chain drugstores blame the customer for surliness after they have insulted said customer?
True exchange—(Clerk)---use the cash                    register over there.  (Me) OK  (Clerk) What is your phone number?  (Me)  I am just buying a $2 greeting card for cash---you do not need a phone number.  (Clerk) Yes it’s my job to ask---(Me) OK you asked now let me pay you.  (Clerk) You know there are always nasty customers like you.  (Me) That is because there are annoying clerks like you---and if you want a battle of wits I will check my brains at the door so we can start even.  (Clerk) Try to have a nice day.  (Me) I was until I met you.
4)      People who limit themselves to listening to one sided commentaries disguised as newscasts are guaranteed to not know much about the longer history of any given issue or have an understanding of it.  The Civil Rights movement made progress when it finally overcame the “know nothing” bigots---and the beat goes on today with issues like the Mosque controversy. 

5)      The Mosque people need a good PR person from Mad Men to come forward with a name change---and not the reasons for its name  “Cordoba House” (which has ecumenical historic significance)  perhaps something like the ICC (Islamic Community Ctr—think JCC) or The Lower Manhattan I. 

6)        Why do the Iraqis get everything wrong?   Candid Camera was about funny foibles and “punked” people (new term I guess) with everyday situations.  They have a reality show that terrorizes people and when they are hysterical they tell them ---“It’s a joke”.   Well, maybe that is the everyday situation there and I have it all wrong and that is humor in a strange and different culture.

7)      I love the “Guy (or gal) walks into a bar” jokes.  If you have any please do share them here---here is one I truly appreciate---    A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots of bourbon---downs them really fast.  The barkeep asks why the rush---hell, says the customer if you have what I have you would do the same---what is that, says barkeep,------50 Cents.   My thanks to Manny Dias from a posting to a Danny Quinn request.  Let us also never forget the memorable Rabbi who walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and when the barkeep asks where did you get him(?) the parrot replies---there are a lot of them in Brooklyn.

8)      The crackpot minister of a miniscule congregation got worldwide notoriety for his Q’uran Book Burning thanks to the press.  Some 50 odd (in more ways than one) people belong to his sect so you have to wonder if anyone would have even taken note of this were it not for press coverage.  Anything for circulation/ratings/etc;

9)      Seems that Harry Chapin had it right in the opening song of his Cotton Patch Gospel--:...something strange is happening in Gainesville”.(OK his Gainesville was in Georgia)

10)                    Playing tennis in NYC is  all well and good provided you have the time and inclination to buy a permit, make a reservation (with a partner) in advance, or pay extra and be wait listed for cancellations----something to be said for suburban living and free (tax supported) tennis courts for the public in parks and schools. With or without a partner.  I know---it does not have the cache of The Big Apple---along with The Big Fees.